???interpretthisdream???

whoa, interpret this dream

I was at a beach, a few old friends were there, Liz, some others I didn't recognize.

A hotel was renting kite-boarding style kites, kind of expensive but I really wanted to fly. A few of us pooled money and got a few kites. there were people who didn't know what they were doing were launching and flying in a campground area full of trees. I sort of told them off, and told them to go out near the water where they were supposed to be.

On my way back to the water, a man asked me to help take a picture for a mother and daughter that asked for help. I tried to pass it off, but he insisted.

The woman and her daughter were European. They were dressed in 1920s era clothes and I was filming them with an old 8mm camera that was made up to look like an antique.
I filmed them for five or ten minutes, just posing and laughing, like a video you would send to loved ones.

Then they were leaving. I was in their hotel room and the woman said "here, this is all for you, thank you"

I looked at a coffee table where she had left a $2 bill, some gold dollars and a gold clip. I thought, just like Europeans to tip with strange currency.

Then I looked at the vanity table in the room. There were racks and stacks packages of jewelry cosmetics and barrettes, not the highest quality, but mostly all brand new in the package. I realized that she meant for me to have it all, and I started going through everything.
There were earrings, long cocktail paste earrings and studs and hoops. There were hairpins and barrettes and curlers. There were eyeliner, lip liner and eyeshadow pencils of every color, even yellow and pink. Everything was labeled in French, but some labels also had English writing on them.
There was hair dye, of a brand I'd never seen before, it came in a bronze egg-shaped package and I had to read the label carefully to tell what colors the dyes were. I found a ginger shade that I wanted to use. There was a big display package of the silicone hair ties that I like to use. I was gathering and sorting the things I liked best when I woke up.




The message that is coming up from your unconscious mind may be one of renewed freedom or an accomplishment of a goal. Kites are generally associated with sweet childhood memories and a sense of abandonment in joy. If your daily life is difficult, this dream may be a form of compensation, or it may be a positive anticipation of things to come.

To see jewelry in your dream, signifies your own sense of self worth and personal value. It is also symbolic of knowledge, identity, or whatever qualities you hold precious in your life. They highlight the importance of spirituality and psychological riches. A particular piece of jewelry that you own, may symbolize aspects of a waking relationship.

To dream that you receive jewelries as gifts, indicates that you need to acknowledge and incorporate those corresponding qualities within your own self.

The meaning of this dream depends on your current concerns. Jewelry is usually a representation of materialistic values. Gender differences imply that for a man this dream symbolizes material wealth and for a woman, love. Careful analysis requires answering the following questions: What type of jewelry it is? Is it genuine or costume? How did you react to it and in which way was it important in the dream?

Profound dream, feels like an intervention

1/10 - 1/11 used to be a date I would save to remember as the darkest period in my life.

I had mostly pushed that aside this year, preferring my current state of gloom and depression to that of dwelling in the past.

last night I went to bed super early. After waking mid-night then going back to sleep, the dream came.

I was in the same place as O.F. and his family, a resort. I was alternately stalking him, and being put in situations where I had the choice to ignore or acknowledge his presence. He did not avoid or confront me. We ate an entire meal at the same table with me pretending he wasn't there, and feeling stress and guilt; and longing to break the ice.

I was in a basement looking at some potted flowers that were dry and in need of attention. I decided to water them. At the same time, O.F. picked up a watering can and began to fill it. "you read my mind" were the first words I spoke to him.

I watered plants in the basement, and a few other things that seemed to need watering, like a fax machine. I spoke or thought to O.F and the effect he'd had on my life and my psyche, that I had abandonment issues that were 19+ years old that were not going away and had controlled the kinds of relationships I had had all my adult life.

There was a friend of O.F's in the basement, a small framed older man who was a shaman. He had cards, and a small wooden tray like an incense holder. He said he was in the middle of doing a reading (whose)?
The little tray held colored flat glass marbles like those used for playing games. three green one red. They startled me for some reason.
I put a red on in one hand and a green one in another. I thought about what colors I wanted them to be. When I opened my hands one was yellow and the other was purple.
The shaman's response was 'there, you see'.


The dream continued with me and O.F. conversing, me realizing that I was re-living certain situations over and over and him telling me it was time to confront this and change. This is when I realized that the dream really had been set up as an intervention for me.

O.F. had to go back to Austraila. He was traveling with a co-worker/girlfriend, they were doing a video production project, maybe a documentary. There was a child with them ( O.F.'s son)? The boy was sitting across my lap. He had fine black hair, a widow's peak and prominent forehead, which were unique and striking, especially on a kid aged five or six.

After the dream had really ended and phased into other dreams, I was able to go back and recall each part of it, the vividness of my emotions. I remember feeling sweat on my upper lip and my pulse pounding in my ears at having to talk to O.F.

What I was confronted with in this dream is true. I haven't gotten over 1991.
Labels in my vocabulary like 'post traumatic stress disorder' 'abandonment' attempt to help me define what is wrong so I can fix it.

I have continued for nineteen years to put myself in situations with other people that are certain to lead me to re-experience the same shit. I am re-abusing myself because I haven't found a way to put the past to rest.

What will come of this? I want to be proactive and work on it.

(continued?)

Dream and depression

RR is trying to get a rommate house going. F is in town and blowing me off.
All I want to do is withdraw into my shell.

I want everyone to go away and leave me alone. I am tired of friends.

Dream last night was very sleep-aid induced. Dreamt of going to help empty out a very old victorian house up North. It had lovely woodwork and fixtures. Old flame was there.
There was a miniature baseball helmet full of water that had some sentimental value for someone.
I found out this morning that there are such things - vendors sell ice cream sundaes in them.


I have meetings tonight, with potential roommates, with rr, with old friend.
Right now I think I will turn off my phone and go someplace to quietly wait for all to realize that they have been blown off.

Why do I want to isolate myself?
}I am unhappy, I will be unhappy, why share?
}Other people have a tendency to make me more unhappy.
}The more alone time I get, the more i like it.